Wednesday, September 2, 2009

There are two kinds of people in this life...

Monday morning. 08h00 am.

Mondays come after weekends.

Weekends in the front room mean that we've had three days worth of collecting nutjob psycho's, sorry, I mean, "mental health care patients".

There are no mental health care physicians over the weekend so we can only refer them to the nutjob psycho's, sorry, I mean "psychiatrists", on Monday mornings.

This job usually falls into the hands of the most junior doctor.

Which would be me.

I like this job so much that I would rather remove my own pancreas with a combine harvester.

The handover Monday morning ward round progressed into the psychiatric holding area.

A young Indian lady patient proceeds to greet me in this manner:


I don't respond. I don't show any teeth. I make no sudden movements.

She goes on:


I couldn't help but let my confusion show. Which one should I be?

Thankfully she made the decision for me.


I was not aware that those were the two types of people I could choose to personify.

I thanked her for making me a "fucker" and not, a "locker".

After all, as I could only interpret it, she was speaking metaphorically!

Thus, "Lockers" must ultimately get used by "Fuckers",
because "fuckers" get to put things INTO "lockers" !?!?!?!



Ketan said...

The picture of that locker was most inviting to say the least!

And also, by nutjob psycho's you've interchangably meant psychiatric patients as well as psychiatrists. So, you mean psychiatric patients can treat themselves?

This, surely is a revolutionary thought, much in the same league as Freud's "mama-locker; papa-blocker-theory" of psycho's sexual development!

When did India start exporting psychos to other countries? Just wondering, government does with whatever is produced surplus. Last heard, I might be sent on an exile! Would you accept me in your country, Dr. S?


Pranav Kumar V said...

How about putting all the FUCKERS into LOCKERS!! :P

Wait!! Then there would be no doctors, no patients!! NO NO NO!! ;) ;) :P

And I'd prefer just PK... :)

Later gater... see you when I see you... :D

Stupidosaur said...

The combination is worse.

Some psychos we hear about in the news **ck victims in basement for years and **ck them :P

Its good to know when the lives of these psychos are **cked and they get **cked forever (assuming no capital punishment)

Ketan said...

Well, at least this once I guessed it right that the above comment was Stupidosaur's! :)

Spark Star said...

Psychos :P
you at least could interpret something. I couldn't conjure up a single metaphor myself :P :P

Dr S. said...

Ketan: What I mean is that I have nver met one normal psychiatrist. They are all suffering from some kind of pathology - some very subtle, other's completely gross manifestations of psychiatric abnormality. So In my mind of black and white, whether you are a psychiatrist or a psychiatric patient makes no differnce to me. As far as I'm concerned they're both cuckoo.

And yes, we would most definitely accept you into our country. At least for experimental purposes. Are you willing to donate your brain and personality to science?

PK: If there were no patients there would be no need for doctors. Can you make this happen? I'm quite amenable to staying at home and playing on the internet all day instead of going to work.

Stupidosaur: Yes, it is important to lock those ***kers away for good.

Spark Star: Welcome to mad medicine - and I really had to stretch my imagination to come up with an interpretation for her crazy ramblings!


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