Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Avoid bad poetry like the plague

So much stigma now
This virus isolates me
Still, I crave cuddles

I made a flu haiku.
(You thought I was talking about HIV weren't you?)
It was inspired by the fact that The Husband refuses to come near me because I am as sick as a dog after being infected with influenza. I can't even eat off communal crockery. Or sleep in the same bed as him. Ridiculous!
I mean, its not like I have Ebola for God's sake! (Or ManFlu for that matter, which we all know is terminal but never fatal.)

But such is the fear, and stigma, surrounding the flu.

I understand it can be so depressingly debilitating and there is no bloody cure so people avoid it like the plague. ( ho hum) But people with the flu are still people. And we deserve TLC too.

Anyway, being a patient sucks.

How is it possible that I can cut into someone's chest cavity to decompress their collapsed lung but I can't fix a silly old flu bug?

So I've resorted to treating the symptoms. Here are the friends I've been hanging out with over the last two days:

And I know what you're thinking, " WTF? Why does she need remicaine jelly that people normally put on their haemorrhoids or use for their burning pee-holes when she has the flu?!".
But relax, and stop being gross. I'm using it on my burning nasal mucosa you perverts!

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