The front room in this secondary level hospital sees patients referred from the surrounding local day hospitals, and private GP practices.
Nobody, unless presenting in an emergency is supposed to be seen in our unit without a referral letter from a doctor.
However, sometimes we get referrals from retards pretending to be doctors.
(Yes, I said it,you read it, RETARDS)
(The referral letter being a self-written testament to their idiocy.)
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.
I'm not even marginally clever.
But compared to these blunt brained buffoons, I'm like a freaking diamond cutting laser.
This is thus the start of what is sure to be a series of posts about retarded referrals:
If you please....
Patient seems frought with worry! I can't seem to elucidate what's on his mind?
He complains much of genital issues/? crying?/He didn't want medicine and is asking for a chest X-ray. Please see if you can manage.
First lesson in retarded doctor school:
Do not even ATTEMPT a diagnosis.
WTF is going on?!?!?!
For god's sake man! How about taking a proper history instead of raping the man of 200 bucks and then palming him off to someone else to do a proper job. You cannot refer a patient just because they want an X-ray! Did you even examine the man's penis? Or listen to his chest? Or look him in the eye? CARE a little bit why don't you!
Lick your right elbow while trying to bite your left ear and repeat after me:
"I am a retard!"